Thursday, February 15, 2007
I am so tired its not even bloody funny anymore.
my life has turned into the monotonous routine i feared it would be. wake up, work, come home, eat, sleep. wake up, work, come home, eat, sleep. wake up,...
i'm so tired i can't even do anything. i'm so tired i can't even not do anything. most of the time beofre 11.30 my eyes are alr starting to close, which is amazing because before this i usually slept in the early morning you know. 4 am onwards.
haha.
and yet. there's something. its the kind of contentment that you don't easily get. its like getting used to something you don't really like, and getting to like it at the same time. you dislike it and yet you like it and feel guilty about your dislike. i don't quite know how to describe it. i suppose, more than any law internship, that this is probably whats keeping me from leaving.
i don't know how to quit you.
and you, i don't know. are you afraid or am i wrong. i want to give it a try although i don't really know how. if anything goes wrong at least we had nearly 2 years. optimist my ass haha.
sometimes its the little things in life that surprise you. when you look at something that you thought you disliked and realise that you can't bring yourself to leave, or when you looked back over your shoulder and realised you brought yourself to leave something that you shouldn't have, or when you look down in front of you and realise that there are some things you've been taking for granted that you don't really know if you like or not, because, as i said, you don't really know how to describe it.
feelings and emotions have become so categorised. who says we can't be feeling more than one or two emotions at one time, or that we can't be feeling entirely conflicting ones? i'm positive that there are still emotions that people have not yet identified or come to categorise properly yet. and i'm fine with that. not everything has to have a label.
there are just some things you can't explain and i don't know how i feel.
and thus concludes a chappy waluntyne's dairy.
rain > balloons. PWNED-
